Pathetic Forsythias

Are these not the most pathetic looking forsythias you have ever seen?

I have no idea what to do with them. They haven't bloomed for years. I only get the random flower here and there. I would love to just dig 'em up and get rid of them but having done this in the past i know that it takes a lot of effort, time and patience. And then what would I replace them with anyway?
And these here are the ice stick tulips that I ordered from Brecks. Pretty, but they don't really look like the picture, right?

They just opened two days ago so it isn't like they are old and spent. And then this morning they were closed up and tight again. Pretty strange.

What to do with potato seeds?

Now that is the question! I got my yukon gold and red cloud delivered today and don't really understand how to use them. The directions say that you can cut the larger 'seeds' (and by seeds I mean something that looks remarkably like a potato) into smaller 'seeds' as long as three eyes are on each piece. Now to me an eye is one of those unsightly growths that occur when you keep a potato to long. Am I wrong? The yukon golds look ok in size but the red clouds are pretty big. What the heck is an eye? I don't see any of those said growths on any of them! I guess I'll just plant 'em and hope for the best.
In the meantime, the friggin' squirrels have gotten to almost all of my strawberry plants already. And that includes the one planted in the terra cotta strawberry planter and whiskey barrels. I would be mad if they were dug up and stolen, BUT NO these friggin' critters are just digging up the bare roots and leaving them to dry out and die! I am getting really pissed. They stole my spinach seedlings too! I am not for cruelty to animals but this is just pushing me over the edge. Have a Heart my ass! These suckers are going!